CAN A NIGERIAN MAN MAKE A GOOD HUSBAND?

We all agree Naija guys are fine, right? Some are real dream boats; tall, dark and handsome, the stuff many romance novels are made off. And they can be quite generous if they have the means and can get their way. And that's the big but if you're an educated and liberated woman who wants to find someone to love you for you, and to get married. Some husbands can get downright mean when they feel they're not getting the respect the deserve from their wives.

Even non-liberated Nigerian women, who simply are educated and want to "carry shoulder up" a little after marriage are emotionally or physically battered by their men. Some Nigerian husbands, though educated, want to live like their grandfathers when it comes to the culture of how women are expected to act and behave right, in the society in general. And how is this?

There are some great stories, of course. But one refrain stands out which I want to question today. A lot of women who are happily married to Nigerian men often echo each other when they say, "he's not a typical Nigerian man". It is either the man was born and raised abroad, travels outside the country a lot, or he likes marching to his own drum which includes loving his wife and being her friend as opposed to the culturally accepted "the husband is the head" in most Nigerian marriages.

But is this really our culture? What stops a Nigerian man true to his culture from making a good-loving, caring and understanding husband? What is sure is that one thing has to give - either the culture in the man has to make way, or the woman has to become a good submissive.

It appears our men are trying but our ladies are just asking for too much, dumping our culture completely.<!--more-->

A Single Lady's Reaction:
Sorry to see marriages crumbling but to be sincere with you, many young guys out there DO NOT make good husbands. They are good for boyfriend relationships but if they say marriage...my friend PICK RACE O! The sad part is that they spend sooo much on weddings. Money that could have been used to buy 4 or 5 properties somewhere (smh). Marriage is not determined by how much that is spent on the wedding day o. Ladies be warned. I would rather have a "local" wedding as they usually call our weddings and enjoy my marriage, than have wedding in Dubai and be a divorcee in 3 months time.

A Married Woman Reacts:
Many of our Nigerian men make good husbands and I feel that their wives don't share it on blogs as such because they are either not used to talking about their private lives on social media or do not even have access to social media that much. Most of the girls sharing their sad experiences on social media and those who have big-eyes and they just want a slave man like black Americans as husband.

All marriages have turpsy turns but it's how it's handled that matters. Another thing is, many husbands are really good but their wives have taken their husband's goodness for granted hence no need for talking much about it.

But in all, I believe that women and men both have short comings, whereas many men are sticking to the traditional spouse thing, many women decide to think outside the traditional box. This doesn't mean that we should generalize. Men and women handle marital issues as they deem fit even when the odds are against them or in their favour. We must strive to work hard to make our relationships, marriages work. My answer to the question is: Yes a typically Nigerian man can make a good husband.

And young married lady's reaction:
My husband is a typical manly Nigerian guy, I give him his due respect and he is a good husband to me. So yes, with God and prayers it is possible to have a good Nigerian husband. But choose wisely!

all agree Naija guys are fine, right? Some are real dream boats; tall, dark and handsome, the stuff many romance novels are made off. And they can be quite generous if they have the means and can get their way. And that's the big but if you're an educated and liberated woman who wants to find someone to love you for you, and to get married. Some husbands can get downright mean when they feel they're not getting the respect the deserve from their wives.

Even non-liberated Nigerian women, who simply are educated and want to "carry shoulder up" a little after marriage are emotionally or physically battered by their men. Some Nigerian husbands, though educated, want to live like their grandfathers when it comes to the culture of how women are expected to act and behave right, in the society in general. And how is this?

There are some great stories, of course. But one refrain stands out which I want to question today. A lot of women who are happily married to Nigerian men often echo each other when they say, "he's not a typical Nigerian man". It is either the man was born and raised abroad, travels outside the country a lot, or he likes marching to his own drum which includes loving his wife and being her friend as opposed to the culturally accepted "the husband is the head" in most Nigerian marriages.

But is this really our culture? What stops a Nigerian man true to his culture from making a good-loving, caring and understanding husband? What is sure is that one thing has to give - either the culture in the man has to make way, or the woman has to become a good submissive.

It appears our men are trying but our ladies are just asking for too much, dumping our culture completely.

A Single Lady's Reaction:
Sorry to see marriages crumbling but to be sincere with you, many young guys out there DO NOT make good husbands. They are good for boyfriend relationships but if they say marriage...my friend PICK RACE O! The sad part is that they spend sooo much on weddings. Money that could have been used to buy 4 or 5 properties somewhere (smh). Marriage is not determined by how much that is spent on the wedding day o. Ladies be warned. I would rather have a "local" wedding as they usually call our weddings and enjoy my marriage, than have wedding in Dubai and be a divorcee in 3 months time.

A Married Woman Reacts:
Many of our Nigerian men make good husbands and I feel that their wives don't share it on blogs as such because they are either not used to talking about their private lives on social media or do not even have access to social media that much. Most of the girls sharing their sad experiences on social media and those who have big-eyes and they just want a slave man like black Americans as husband.

All marriages have turpsy turns but it's how it's handled that matters. Another thing is, many husbands are really good but their wives have taken their husband's goodness for granted hence no need for talking much about it.

But in all, I believe that women and men both have short comings, whereas many men are sticking to the traditional spouse thing, many women decide to think outside the traditional box. This doesn't mean that we should generalize. Men and women handle marital issues as they deem fit even when the odds are against them or in their favour. We must strive to work hard to make our relationships, marriages work. My answer to the question is: Yes a typically Nigerian man can make a good husband.

And young married lady's reaction:
My husband is a typical manly Nigerian guy, I give him his due respect and he is a good husband to me. So yes, with God and prayers it is possible to have a good Nigerian husband. But choose wisely!